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First of all, the idea that if God brings us someone, then He is good to us, and if he doesn’t He is good to us gets too easily turned into God either does or does not have a “soulmate” for us.
A while back I posted a question from Calvin, a Reformed dispensationalist fundamentalist, and Aimee, a Pentecostal, who have fallen in love and want to get married. Dear Calvin and Aimee, I’m tempted to start by saying your question has me singing a version of a great song as “Pentecostal Woman, Calvinistic Man, We Get Together Every Time We Can…” But I won’t do that, because that would be wrong.
If she never marries, it will be because God is so good to her. It is indeed our redemptive status that makes us special and complete. In other words, if He is controlling all of this and is waiting to bring everyone their “one” then all this extra singleness going on is obviously His fault. I get the desire to honor God’s sovereignty and I’m for it. If I’m jobless should I just stay in that situation and wait for God to deliver me a job?
If you would plan to whisper to your children, “Don’t tell Daddy but really serious Christians get slain in the Spirit…” then call off the engagement. You must do likewise (and I would say the exact same thing if the roles here were reversed).
Calvin, if you secretly think of Aimee’s background as nothing more than ridiculous “man-centered” “holy-rolling,” don’t marry her. It is modeled after the way our Lord Christ loved his church, cleansing her “by the washing of water with the word” (Eph. How did our Lord Jesus do that with a foundation stone of his church, the Apostle Peter? I would also say that a common congregation is essential. A church isn’t simply a place to go to learn about stuff and pool money for missions.
Many of the churches in Calvin’s tradition would probably gladly receive Aimee as a member, but many would restrict certain roles to her, especially teaching roles, because of her doctrinal beliefs at this point.
Some of them, I don’t know, might even exclude Calvin from such roles.
In my last post I shared some thoughts in response to what Scott Sauls wrote at Relevant’s site about why we in the Church focus so much on the nuclear family.